The responsibility of keeping the national economy safe is with the Bangladesh Bank. That of flying the national flag of hope and aspiration reflected in sports lies with the cricket team. There is actually no need to discuss how they have done because everyone knows the answer but what strikes as odd is that how bankers can run the sector like a glorious game of uncertainty and cricket players play like they are Bangladesh bank officials.
Tennis or cricket team?
Bangladeshi players in Pakistan, played cricket in a way which has led to early retirement of several street cricket players. Some of them have said that having watched the national team play, they are filled with deep frustration and frustration issues. “ I mean we not only play better cricket, we also want to win and are serious about it. They are not playing cricket but tennis and that is not right. Tennis is a different game and its shocking that nobody explained this fact to them before the matches. Take us in the national team and we shall show the world how good we are. Nobody can be worse than them.”
This is certainly not true. There are many who are worse than them according to sources. Media has reported that soccer team players are so bad at cricket that the opposition may give up playing football if they get a long look.
Cricket Ministry’s clarification
But the Government’s Ministry of Cricket Affairs has come to the defense of the team. They have issued a statement saying that the boys played wonderfully and nothing more could be better than this. “We are part of SAARC and it’s our duty to create positive environment in the region. If we don’t help a brother country, it will be massive failure on our part. Pakistan has been on a losing streak for long and our visit has greatly cheered up the people of Pakistan when they beat us.”
“It’s also mentioned in our constitution that we must help others and if needed sacrifice our interests in the greater benefit of South Asia. So its not just cricket but diplomacy as well. We have achieved much.”
CAA and NCR for cricket
When the attention was drawn to the brilliant performance of the Indians while Bangladesh kept losing, the spokesperson said that, “Major breakthroughs have been made in our talks with India. This great country who helped us during the glorious liberation war has recently initiated a series of laws like CAA ( Cricket Assessment Act) and NCR ( National Cricket Register).
“This will help the Indian government to identify proper cricketing talents and if needed they have promised to send us every cricket player we can use. They are using new techniques to identify such players. Like they are using puffed rice and other Bangladeshis food items to suspected cricket players. If they show a liking for that, then its wham...go to Bangladesh.”
Bangladesh cricket coach McKenzie has however said that the batsmen lack hunger, drive and a desire to win. His assessment has in general been negative about the batsmen’s performance. His analysis was however rejected by the Ministry who said that, the players are so happy and satisfied the they are no longer hungry.
“Of course they are not hungry. They are fed well and dressed well and given money and many other benefits so why should they be hungry. True they don’t get hilsha fish as cooked by their ammas but we shall send their ammas with them the next time so that they have no chance of feeling they have left home.”
Bangladesh Bank’s match strategy
Meanwhile the Bangladesh Bank has called a meeting to discuss the latest situation in view of the cricket team’s performance. A congratulatory resolution was passed by the Board who stated that it’s heartening to see that the example of the Bangladesh Bank has been spreading to all.
“The idea that non-performance is a major indicator of success is now gaining increasing acceptance. The cricket team has shown in Pakistan that it can play matches without any performance and still be considered a team. The current status of the financial institutions are in a position that can not be easily accepted as just successful . Its super successful. We shall continue to work towards a situation whereby every bank’s loan with be a non performing one. That’s our goal. It seems our cricket team has imbibed the spirit of the BB”.
In view of the terrific performance of both teams, the government plans to declare a national holiday and both BB and the cricket team members will garland each other in the national stadium and the shapla square, the two great symbols of national glory.