My name is Chiku

Afsan Chowdhury
Wednesday, July 12th, 2017
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I began as a humble insect and nobody bothered about me but after only a few months  of diligent biting, everyone knows my name. And those who have rented their body to me, knows how it feels to live with Chiku . It’s my nickname.

 

How many people have a name which everyone in this city knows? I am not just famous, I am effective. Nothing works in this city and I won’t even go into that, but I, Chiku have beaten you all.  You have crossfire to control Jongis, but I don’t even have a gun even but more people fear me than RAB, police and traffic jams put together.  And you can’t kill me.  So give me a salam.

 

Now there are many theories about my emergence. Some have said that I am a special emissary from hell just to remind everyone how painful that place where everyone is going to go. Not bad… However just don’t overdo such statements because several religious groups  may band together and insist ‘on my destruction and demand that I stop biting as it’s a symbol of man’s powerlessness which if discussed in certain quarters may be considered  haram.  And my name is Chiku not Chemise which is a female underwear not a Greek sex worker goddess. Please get your facts right.

 

Chikus are Jongis?

 

Some have also said that I am the Chiku (new group) and my previous incarnation was as Chiku (old) but this is not true. What is true is that I have developed connections with Hijbut Chiku and Ansarul Chiku but it’s true that the main connection is with Jamaat –i- Dengue who is closely related to Chiku and we often have meetings and plan campaigns together.

 

We are all part of it but we are Bangladeshi Chikus.  Its best to call us Bangladesh Chiku League / Bangladesh Chiku Dal.  We are committed to make the country an upper Chiku affected country as soon as possible, possibly next year.  We also have decided that our growth rate will cross 25% which is the highest in the world.

 

Chiku has many friends and allies in the country without the support of such groups Chiku flyovers and bridges would never have been possible.  Some are saying that they helped develop us by failing to take precautionary measures but this is not true.

 

Of course, it’s a fact that they are supposed to take care of the mosquito menace in the city but just because they didn’t do their job doesn’t mean our plans were affected by such failures. Its normal to fail with them.

 

People’s Republic of Chiku?

 

Many people are also saying that it’s not lakes and pools so inefficiency didn’t play a role but this is not a secret so what is new ?.  Actually Chiku prevents the brain from working so those people thought that the international Jongi conspiracy Chikus were over. Of course you have to bite the official in the posterior to paralyze the brain. This isn’t easy as most of the time they are sitting and not doing much else.  Nevertheless, we are capable of being a pain in the butt, no matter whose.

 

We have major plans to develop the infrastructure as well so we have called for an international Chiku consortium where the objective will be to develop facilities for direct investment in the Chiku sector. We have applied for a special zone where we can set up rmc factories – ready made Chiku- and we have also taken a lease of the nearby lake where we plan to build a 50 storied  building to house the Bangladesh Chiku Association. The way we see it, we can damage the environment, cause drainage problems, destroy wetlands, all of which will lead to greater growth of Chikus while sitting in our office.

 

We believe that if things go properly, we can take over the country and build a People’s Republic of Chiku which will continue to bring peace, prosperity and pain to Bangladeshis for many many years.  It’s important to support us and as you know yourself, we can reach anywhere we want and that means any part of the body including you know where.

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